Better late than never! It’s our first Guest Blog post here on WFM with guest bloggers, Jodi & Matt Arden. The Ardens are our dear friends from NYC who trekked halfway across the world to meet us in New Zealand. Hilarity ensued (and we are forever grateful)! See below… (And more to come on India later this week!)
BY JODI & MATT ARDEN, WFM GUEST BLOGGERS, SOUTH ISLAND, NEW ZEALAND
When Amy and John informed us of their decision to go gallivanting across the globe, we promised to meet them somewhere that would be both disruptive to our sleep patterns and our bank account. It was their skepticism that made us all the more determined to fly as far West as possible, testing our will and our wallets.
We are still unsure to this day if we were driven by the delirium of our first 27 hours of travel, or the excitement of reuniting with Amy and John, but before hopping our flight to Queenstown we skipped the eggs at the Sydney Airport and sent a digital challenge to Amy and John; wake up and get ready!
They responded thusly.
Game on. Our trip was clearly developing an early theme.
And that’s actually what New Zealand is about … having fun. The culture, the people, and the places seem to all be made to fully trigger your enjoyment sensors. Whether you’re snapping a selfie at a breathtaking vista or guzzling down a bottle of local brew, you’re overcome by the same dizzy joy.
But, our journey had an added wrinkle of bliss. One 22-foot long wrinkle named Chuck.
A Chuck is the only way to truly experience New Zealand. So, while we’d love to fully capture all of the magical details of our time on the South Island, it would simply take too much time and too many pages. Plus, we’re already 3 weeks late delivering this post, and we all know how Amy is about a deadline.
So instead, we present the Top 5 things you learn when travelling New Zealand in a Chuck Wagon.
1. You Get to take Pictures Like This
Every few miles there is something amazing to see in New Zealand. Part of experiencing the country is having the freedom to pull over at any time or place based on any whim (FYI, John’s whims are typically meat pie based). There are literally beautiful things to see every few kilometers and you’re never going to see the most amazing parts if you’re not on the open road, taking cliff-side hairpin turns in an oversized moving van driven by two American knuckleheads who really really really like driving on the right side of the road (in a left-side-of-the-road kinda place).
Let’s face it, the danger is half the fun! It really makes you appreciate the beauty even more! Plus you get to take awesome pictures like this!
We’ve decided to make this the cover of our first album (karaoke themed, of course). Because riding NZ in a Chuck makes you the rock stars of your own World Tour. Well, that is until you pull over to discover a Lynyrd Skynyrd / Starship concert at the base of a mountain in a vineyard. Because there are real rock stars in New Zealand and they built this city on rock & roll … or you’ll tell yourself that after 5 hours drinking in the sun.
But without a Chuck, you can’t stumble upon things like this.
2. Everybody Poops
That’s what you learn. Real fast.
3. Amy loves any opportunity to host houseguests and has clearly missed it.
We’ve all visited Amy and John back when … you know, they had an address. No detail was ever left out when they hosted. Whether you were invited over for dinner or just stopping in to have a drink (which would eventually include custom cocktails, a fully cooked dinner, and a freshly baked cake), nobody opens their home to guests like Amy and John.
This holds true in a Chuck.
Amy woke us up every morning with fresh pressed coffee and even made us pancakes. Lunch was a pleasant affair and by the time we were ready for dinner cheese, crackers, fig jam and wine were put out in equidistant quadrilateral positions. This was, of course, all enjoyed in a dirt free Chuck as Amy hermetically sealed all windows and doors and barred shoes from entering the cabin.
We know they are having fun on this little adventure, but man does she miss entertaining.
4. Chuck Breeds Cultural Assimilation
Proof: While Amy was setting up a group selfie shot, this is how both Matt and John reacted immediately and unprompted to the phrase: “pretend there are girls standing next to you.”
5. You get to see Springfield, NZ.
Granted, on its surface stopping in a one street town with a population of 219 probably doesn’t sound all that exciting. But you’ve never been in a Chuck. With a John.
No word in the English language can quite describe the exuberance with which John screamed when he saw Springfield’s greatest landmark through his window. Though if you reference #2 on our list you can probably guess what I did in my pants as I was driving.
With a face full of gas station ice cream (sadly, they were out of meat pies) John brought our adventure literally to a screeching halt with these pivotal trip-altering words:
OH MY GOD!! THERE’S A GIANT DONUT WITH A HOLE IN IT YOU CAN TAKE A PICTURE IN!
And there was. So we did. Thanks Springfield.
And that, in a nutshell, is our impression of New Zealand. It’s simultaneously the most beautiful, fascinating, weird and fun place we’ve ever been.
But that may also have a lot to do with the company we kept.
Greetings from Agra, India…home of the Taj Mahal! So excited to visit the Taj and share some photos, but in the meantime, here is the “palace” we stayed at in Jodphur last week. A very cool, very Indian place! (We’re a few cities behind because of bad internet.)
Just a quick post today, but one celebrating a milestone.
Six months ago today, Amy’s sister Laurie dropped us off at JFK for the start of this journey. It seems like it’s been longer than six months, because we’ve seen so much, we’ve been to so many places already, and we’ve had so many unique experiences.
Amy and I have discussed this many times: when you go on a great vacation for a week or two, you go home and talk about it for months. It gets burned into your memory bank, and you can recount the slightest details – a great meal, a bad hotel room, some random encounter with a local. But with the scale of this trip, the details start to fade fast, and only the big picture sticks with you. Taking photos and writing about it helps, but the brushstrokes are much broader.
I can’t speak for Amy, but for me the “big picture” experience so far has been a bit spiritual. I don’t necessarily mean it’s been “religious,” but it has given me an appreciation for things bigger than myself, and my everyday selfish concerns.
I’ve begun to appreciate the beauty of the world we live in, having seen scenery unique to so many different parts of the planet. We’ve seen incredible sights and fascinating wildlife, visited stunning natural landmarks, and looked at the stars like we haven’t been able to before. The Great Ocean Road in Australia, The Franz Josef Glacier, sunsets in Cambodia, the Jeju Island shoreline, and the brightest Milky Way we’ve ever seen (when getting locked out of our New Zealand cabin one night) are just some examples. And when you see how much people are trashing it as well, almost everywhere along the way (except New Zealand!), you appreciate the scenery that much more.
I’ve also had a growing sense of the “mysterious ways” of the world; how things will work out, how chance or fate will put you in the right place at the right time, or how what you thought was a wrong move turns out for the best in the end. Getting lost and finding a great restaurant in Japan. Bumping into our NYC neighbors in Da Nang, Vietnam. Walking around to discover a beer festival in Melbourne. Travel will do that for you. Things work out in ways we just can’t explain.
And lastly, I’ve had an incredibly huge sense of gratitude. I feel so fortunate. Being able to do what we’re doing, seeing how other people and other cultures live, realizing just how lucky we are to live the way we do at home – it gives me a great appreciation for where I’ve come from and just how blessed I am to have this life. I will never take tap water, toilet paper, or garbage pickup for granted again. I might even appreciate taxes (maybe). But I’ve been handed a good life. There’s a lot of people to thank – parents, family, teachers, mentors – and a bit of personal ambition involved, but ultimately I think there’s something bigger at work and I should be thankful.
And I am.
Early last evening, as Amy and I were at a rooftop restaurant having a few beers and a bite to eat, the skies darkened, and there was a hail-storm that rained mothball-sized hail, in the middle of the Indian heat, for minutes on end.
A woman we were speaking to, who works in India frequently, said she’d never seen anything like it in her time here. The locals at the restaurant stood watching, in a stunned silence. The owner of the restaurant couldn’t help but laugh later. It was extraordinary. These are the sorts of things that happen and make you go, “Wow.”
And I guess that’s all I really mean by all of this, all of what I’ve been feeling. Just…“Wow.”
But not to get too heady, here. On this, the six-month anniversary of our trip, I have woken up to find that my sweat smells like curry. Bona fide. Just ask Amy. The mystery continues…
At three months we offered up a Q&A – you have questions, we have answers. Now at six months, feel free to send them to us via the contact page, message board, Facebook or email, and we’ll answer in a future post.
Namaste from India, Mom! We just finished up our first week here and it’s been…well, it’s been interesting. John and I are both working on blog posts about our first impressions. Look for those in the days to come. But in the meantime, I wanted to tell you about some of the amazing animals we’ve seen so far. Yesterday, we hired a car to take us from Udaipur to Jodhpur…about a 5-6 hour car ride (see “The Map” page). From the time we left Udaipur at 9am to the time we went to bed in Jodhpur around 10pm, we saw the following animals:
chipmunks
a hawk
green parrots
countless other birds (cranes, pigeons, sparrows, geese)
one mouse (who probably is not long for this world)
one skinny cat
dogs and puppies
cows (and cows with jewelry, painted horns and other bling)
oxen
water buffalo
wild boar (with piglets! If that’s what you call baby boars…)
goats
sheep
camels
monkeys (and wet behind the ears monkey babies!)
horses
bees (and a crazy-big scary next/hive)
All those animals in just over 12 hours! Here are just a few pictures…more to come:
Bee hive at Jain temple
Bees!
Monkey
Baby monkey
Water Buffalo
Hawk
We have a great hotel in Jodhpur (video to come!) but the internet stinks. We leave for Jaipur tomorrow…maybe we’ll have better luck there. More news to India to come soon…promise!
Last week, Amy and I left Melbourne to start our drive down Australia’s Great Ocean Road, which follows the coastline of the Southern Ocean. Did you know there was a Southern Ocean? I didn’t. Well, there is, and it’s south of Australia, which is probably why they gave it that name. The Great Ocean Road is an incredibly beautiful drive, and the vistas have been phenomenal, like driving the Pacific Coast Highway.
On our first day we stopped in the small town of Lorne, and if you’ve seen the previous video of our cabin, you’ll have seen how things got started – with a visit from our avian neighbors, the cockatoos. Any time we took a step on to the porch, the wild cockatoos would swoop in (keyword: “swoop”) and look for handouts. And not just one bird, but three or four at a time. I don’t like big parrot-like birds lurking on my porch, and frankly, large birds creep me out altogether. They stare at you, too – they don’t take their eyes off of you. Look at this:
It was like Bodega Bay in a certain Hitchcock film, and I was the blonde. I picked the wrong day to stop swearing.
Wait, what?!
I’m not Catholic, but in solidarity with Amy (who is), I gave up cursing for Lent. Last year I gave up meat, and the year before I gave up booze. This year I gave up one of my biggest vices, swearing. Anyone who knows me well knows I pepper my conversation with obscenity as liberally as a Hungarian sprinkles paprika into his goulash, the result of my years spent in a pro-football locker-room, the merchant marines, and various outlaw motorcycle gangs.
Sure, a little everyday cussing is probably cathartic, but a litany of profanity isn’t very becoming. So in the hopes that forty days of watching my language might change my behavior, I decided to give up swearing for Lent.
Big mistake.
Eventually we checked out of the cabin, and hit the open road. We hugged the coastline for several miles, and saw some beautiful scenery along the way.
Lucky for me, it kind of leaves you speechless, so no problem with the Lenten promises, though you’re apt to take a wide turn and see some incredible vista and mumble “Holy…smokes!…”
Things got more interesting when we hit the town of Kennet River, less than an hour from Lorne. In the cabin video, you heard me lament that we’d seen no koalas, no kangaroos, and no wallabies, but plenty of cockatoos. That would soon change. Kennet River is known for its colony of koalas, and here we got to finally see some stereotypical Aussie wildlife.
Even as a former outlaw biker and generally hard-nosed tough guy who used to work as a stevedore, I have to admit, these guys are cute. They were hanging out in the trees in a local park, either sleeping or feeding on leaves. They look, well,…cuddly.
Eventually we drove further into the park to see if we could find more koalas. I drove slowly, and we had our eyes focused up in the trees. I came around a bend, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw something up the road in the distance.
“HOLY!…COW! It’s a kangaroo!!”
Our drive up the road had paid off, and we spent a few minutes inching up to the kangaroo, who darted away. As we drove on, we found a low-lying koala passed out in a tree like he’d been out on a long bender. Amy got within feet of him to take pictures. The koala woke up and looked her in the eye. They communed.
I can’t say for sure, but I think Amy gained some valuable koala knowledge from him, like the Buddha under the bhodi tree. She’s like a koala whisperer.
We continued on our way down the road, and later that afternoon we drove out to Cape Otway to see its famous lighthouse, about a 15-mile drive through a wooded area. At one point, zipping through the woods, another kangaroo suddenly bounced out in front of the rental car. I slammed on the brakes: “JESU-…Golly!!”
We came within feet of making kangaroo burgers, but narrowly avoided disaster. I gathered my senses, and we headed down the road a few more miles to find some cars stopped by the side of the road, looking at koalas. We were hitting koala-rich vein, and Amy perked up, on the lookout.
When we were in Cambodia, Amy would put on her glasses to see the wild monkeys on the side of the road. Ever since then she’s called them her “Monkey Glasses.” The Monkey Glasses were working their magic apparently, because as we drove, The Koala Whisperer began to see more and more of her animal patronus charms. I was focused on the road, looking to avoid any further rogue kangaroos and Lenten slip-ups, but Amy however…
“There’s a koala!…there’s one!…there’s one…and there’s another one…”
“How do you keep seeing all these koalas?
“I just look for the fuzzy lumps up in the trees.”
“Well I can’t see sh-…I can’t see anything.”
“WAIT, BACK UP, BACK UP!!!”
“What?! What did you see?!”
“There’s like a colony of kangaroos!!”
I hit the brakes and backed up the car. And sure enough, back in the woods about 50 feet, sitting on the ground eating some grass…were two cows. The Koala Whisperer in her Ralph Lauren Monkey Glasses had misfired. And we never even went to the lighthouse, instead pushing on to spend the night in Port Campbell, near some of the greatest scenery on the Great Ocean Road.
The Twelve Apostles (well, just 2 of them)
Loch Ard Gorge
The Grotto
The next day we drove off the Ocean Road briefly to have lunch inland, in the town of Timboon. The area is best known for its dairy farms and local cheeses. We had a great cheese plate for lunch (as well as some delicious pork belly) and after, we stopped by a local landmark:
That’s right – Cheeseworld! It’s like a whole world of cheese, and we went there. We read about cheese, we looked at cheese, we bought some cheese, and had a few milkshakes. With all the dairy appreciation, you’d think the local cows would have been happy with us. But apparently not. As we got closer to our motel room in Port Fairy, we pulled behind a double-decker stock trailer. It had the words “beef bus” painted on the back, and it was filled with cattle being moved somewhere, likely for some nefarious end. We pulled up next to the beef bus, and here’s where Elsie got even. Our rental car was showered with cattle urine.
I don’t know how the cow did it, but her aim was impeccable. It was like being in a yellow car wash, shot out of a bovine Super-Soaker. Sure, the wipers could clean the windshield, but the rest of the car, dusty from a few days of driving on dirt and gravel roads, looked like a map of the Grand Canyon. The next day was the first Friday of Lent, and we had been warned – we would eat no meat.
Animals: 1 – John & Amy: 0.
Friday morning we were awakened by an odd ringtone outside our Port Fairy motel window. It would repeat every few minutes. I was getting mad that the thoughtless person wouldn’t answer or turn off their phone: “What’s with this assh-…goofball?!” I got up and looked out the window, and this was the scene:
It was a couple of Australian magpies. They have the strangest song. Google it. Wait! – DON’T Google it, here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYEYc8Ge3nw
Imagine having that waking you up. It’s pretty incredible to think it comes from a bird. That’s a bird I can respect, unlike creepy voyeuristic cockatoos.
Our first stop after leaving Port Fairy was the Tower Hill Wildlife Reserve, where you can see koalas, kangaroos, wallabies, and emus. After parking the car, we went to the ranger station to get a trail map. While there, I read a little bit about emus. Some interesting facts:
Emus are the third largest bird in the world.
Emus can grow to about 7-8 feet tall.
Emus are flightless, but can run very fast.
So, armed with this knowledge, Amy and I went out for a hike. And before we got out of the carpark, we came face to face with a prehistoric looking emu.
You know how I feel about cockatoos. Emus are a whole different story. This is a bird who can claw out my eyes, run faster than me, and likely dunk on me in a game of one-on-one. I was having none of it. We stopped and watched quietly, and the emu approached us, very slowly. I was ready to punch this animal in the face and run, but when he got too close, Amy assumed this position:
Yep – they may be big, but they’re dumb! If you stretch out your hands high over your head, they think you’re a bigger, domintant emu, and they’ll walk away. And that’s what happened with this emu. Sucker.
Animals: 1 – John & Amy: 1
So we headed up the trail, and Amy and I became very quiet in the hopes of seeing a kangaroo or koala in the wild. The Koala Whisperer kept her eyes in the trees, and I kept my eyes on the bush. And then…a rustling in the trees…and just in front of us… “SON OF A…Biscuit!”
An emu hopped out on the path in front of us, scaring the daylights out of me. This thing was the size of Kareem Abdul Jabbar wearing lifts. Hearts racing, we stopped and let it pass, and continued our trek.
Soon, in a clearing, we came upon a fresh turd. Yes, a turd. Amy, a keen bush tracker, noted that this was an unusually big turd. And like all good zoologists, she picked up a stick and started to poke it, as if it might spring to life.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m poking it.”
“It looks like an everyday dog turd. Even worse, it could be human…”
“I think it’s a kangaroo turd.”
“Do kangaroo turds look like that? What do kangaroo turds look like?”
Well, all credit to the Whisperer, because it turns out it was a kangaroo turd. And a few minutes later, in the underbrush, I spotted a massive kangaroo, with forearms the size of Floyd Mayweather’s.
This guy was big. We watched as he fed on some grass, and eventually he hopped off into some brush. We walked on a little further, and minutes later, more rustling, and with it another startled kangaroo, who stared at us as long as we stared at him, until he, too, rustled off into some impassable shrubbery.
With no other kangaroos to be found, Amy and I started to head back down the trail towards the car. Amy heard rustling. We paused, and right next to us…
“MOTHER…of Pearl!”
Just off the path in the trees, two massive emus looked us in the eye, and then slunk off. We picked up our pace, and then the best wildlife encounter of our trip happened. Directly in front of us, a wallaby crossed the trail. He hopped into a bit of brush, and nosed around for something to eat. Amy and I quietly approached.
This little guy was about the size of a black lab. We moved in slowly, and the wallaby didn’t seem to pay any attention to us. Then he turned toward us, and hopped in our direction, heading just behind us. He turned, and he very slowly started to sniff and move his ears. That’s when we noticed – this wallaby had one milky eye, and the other was missing. He was blind, and with us frozen in place, he slowly approached us trying to figure out what was going on, sniffing and twitching his ears. We were within a foot or two, like you could reach out and grab him.
It was incredible. And as a former longshoreman, amateur Golden Gloves contender, and retired hard-boiled detective, I’m not afraid to tell you it was very cute and touching. We didn’t want to move and disturb or scare him, but eventually we slowly backed away, and he hopped off into the woods. “That was fu…reaking incredible.”
Animals for the win.
Over the next few days, during our most westerly stay in the tiny fishing village of Nelson, we were warned not to drive at dawn or dusk – the kangaroos are out en masse, and will jump in front of your car like a whitetail deer. (Ed. note: see our Nelson hotel room in our last post). We also spoke to a nice woman about koalas:
“Ooh, they’re nasty little buggers.”
“Koalas?!”
“Oh yeah, if you get too close to them, they’ll scratch you up. Nasty things.”
“Wow, I didn’t know that.”
“I’ve been to Colorado in the States.”
“You have? Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes – you know what I like?”
“What’s that?”
“Squirrels. They’re cute, I like them a lot.”
I guess everything is relative, and familiarity breeds contempt.
As we headed back east, working our way back towards our current cabin stay in Lorne, we stopped in the Glenelg River State Park. There we saw dozens of kangaroos who leapt in front of our car as we slowly drove down the dirt road. When we exited the park and picked up speed on the highway, two massive emus crossed in front of us. I’ll tell you one thing: you don’t have to find the wildlife in Australia, it finds you.
As we drove on, I realized I’d stopped reacting as violently to the wildlife, Amy had stopped putting on her Monkey Glasses, and I’d stopped swearing as much. Even as I type here in Lorne, the cockatoos on the porch don’t bother me as much as they once did. Familiarity breeds contempt. And some breeds are more familiar, and some breeds more contemptible.
(We know this was a longer-than-usual post…if you’ve made it this far, congratulations! You shall be rewarded with a song:
Hi Mom! We’ve been having an amazing time along the Great Ocean Road this past week. Koalas, kangaroos, wallabies, crazy birds and amazing views! More to come from John on the flora and fauna, but in the mean time…another hotel room video! This past weekend was Labor Day Weekend here in Victoria and it’s the same here as in the States: the end of summer and a three-day weekend. What did that mean for us? Lots of fellow travelers on the road and a dearth of accommodation. But thankfully, we found a great place to crash. Perfect for the holiday weekend! Check it out! (Once again, because of internet restrictions, we had to compress the video so you need to click the link below and it will take you to YouTube…all safe, promise.)
I know we’re behind on reporting our New Zealand and Australian adventures…more to come this week. Promise! (We have to because we leave for India on Saturday and who knows what the internet will bring…)
Greetings from the Great Ocean Road! We’re currently in Lorne, Australia, just an hour or so outside of Melbourne. The GOR is Oz’s version of the Pacific Coast Highway. We’ve already seen some beautiful beaches and amazing vistas. But one of the greatest interactions with nature happened when we checked into our cabin this afternoon. Enjoy! (Because of internet restrictions, we had to compress the video so you need to click the link below and it will take you to YouTube…all safe, we assure you.)
(I realize I forgot to point out the view of the bay…it’s slightly blocked by the trees, but it’s lovely. And I also forgot to show the inside of our fridge…be assured it’s fully stocked with Aussie beer and wine!)
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