In search of Muddy Waters

Amy and I spent this week in the southern half of Taiwan, in the historic city of Tainan – a former capital of the island that was founded by Dutch traders, believe it or not. It’s a great city, with interesting temples and old forts, and incredibly nice people. We also made a few day trips. One was a half-hour south to the port city of Kaohsiung, where we dipped our toes in the Taiwan Strait, and had this incredible seafood dinner.

A few days ago we also went to the small mountain town of Guanziling to visit the hot mud baths. That’s right – Amy took me for a spa day.

Guanziling is touted as one of only three places in the world where you can take a hot-springs mud bath. The others are in Kagoshima, Japan and Vulcano, Italy. Not being anywhere near Italy, we figured we’d try this experience while we could get it. This was not an easy task. First we took a 40-minute train ride north to the small town of Xinying, where we had to transfer to a bus. At this point, outside of the “big city,” no one spoke any English. That said, neither of us speaks Mandarin. This led to a lot of pointing, gesturing, and simple guesswork. Fortunately everything worked out.

After a half-hour wait at the bus station, we traveled another half-hour to an even smaller town called Bai He for a second bus transfer at a combination bus station/7-11 convenience store. If you’ve ever been to Asia, you know about the 7-11’s. They’ve got everything – food, drinks, school supplies, magazines, healthcare products, candy, wine, beer, liquor, and disposable underpants. Yes, I said disposable underpants.

That’s four pair for under US $3. If you’re gonna eat a lot of candy, and drink beer, wine, and liquor, you’re going to need disposable underpants. What else might contribute to that need? Fish Peanuts.

Yep, there are little dried fishes in there, along with peanuts and little crunchies. Actually seems like a healthy snack. But with another half-hour wait before our final bus ride, and not wanting to eat Fish Peanuts, we grabbed lunch across the street.

Two very nice ladies, who didn’t speak a word of English, welcomed us to their stand. One was cooking pork steaks and eggs, and the other was making noodles. Not speaking a word of Mandarin beyond “Hello” “Thank you” or “Beer,” you can guess what we ordered: pork steaks and eggs over noodles. It was actually quite delicious.

Then it was on to our final fifteen-minute bus ride. This took us into the hills and to the spa town of Guanziling. With the aid of some other passengers, as well as some pointing, gesturing, and simple guess-work, we were able to let the driver know what stop we needed to get off at, the one closest to the King’s Garden Villa Spa. Turns out that bus stop is a fifteen-minute walk from the spa itself. After one train, two buses, and an uphill climb later, we arrived at the King’s Garden only three hours after we left Tainan. And having covered less than 40 miles. Had we arrived any later, I fear I may have needed some disposable underpants.

The spa is a nice wooded retreat in the hills, with a few views of the valley below. Seems a lot of Taiwanese folks will come for several days like we did at the onsen in Japan. We only got a day pass, which was plenty of time for us, but they do want to make it a nice getaway, as this sign indicates in a somewhat incomplete manner:

And it is nice. We don’t really have pictures of the inside, because you don’t really want to take your camera into a steamy mud bath, and likewise – you know…strangers don’t really like having their picture taken while they’re half-naked in a mud bath.

But we do have some pictures from the spa’s billboards, which are posted along the way on that fifteen-minute walk. These are what the mud baths look like:

Like the onsen in Japan, there are a number of these baths, some hot, some cold, some in between, and most of the warmer ones with varying degrees of hot mud in the baths. The most popular was a muddy brown like a café au lait. One was dark like a hot steeping tea. And another was a bit milkier. While it’s called a mud bath, and there is some of the natural hot mud in it, it’s really like going into a muddy pond – much more liquid than solid.

But they do have a few mirrored areas with bowls of more condensed, darker mud that you can spread on your body or face and let dry for a deep pore cleansing. While I was soaking in a hot tub, Amy said she wanted to put on a mud mask. She left, and I waited. A few minutes later, she came back. And I started laughing – “Do you have any idea what you look like?! You look like Al Jolson in blackface!” Thankfully the mud dried quickly to a lighter gray, and Amy looked less like a minstrel show and more like the Walking Dead. And speaking of race, I should add that as the only white folks there, we were definitely the subject of a lot of stares, and some questions – “Where are you from?” “Why did you come here?” But all in the spirit of curiosity and friendship.

The spa also sported some kind of workout room with all these archaic weight-loss devices. Remember the vibrating belt machines that Bugs Bunny used? They had them. Here’s proof:

And see that little out-of-focus tabletop machine in the background?

With this device, you would lie down, put your heels in the machine, and it would shift and shake your heels rapidly back and forth – I think the idea was to loosen and align your spine. I remember this feeling from when I was a teenager, and my father would come in and use this method daily to wake me up for school. I never realized back in 1985 that he had correct spinal alignment in mind, but it was certainly effective in stirring you from a deep slumber.

There was also a platform that you stood on, held the handles, and the platform just shook like hell. I have no idea what this was supposed to do, but the people doing it looked ridiculous, and if they had any idea what they looked like, I assure you they wouldn’t have done it. There was a lot of thigh flab flying around. I tell you this, while I’m not the most fit guy in the world, this place did wonders for my body image. Sitting in a mud bath (on a weekday) with fat old ladies and scrawny old men makes you feel pretty fit and trim.

Speaking of fit and trim, there was a dependable scale at the spa. I weighed myself and discovered I’m now 72 kilos, or about 158 pounds. That’s what walking around all day and no snacking will do for you. The last time I weighed 158 pounds was when I graduated from college, and I know this from my arrest records that day (long story…).

We also used the steam room, and Amy used the sauna. But my favorite part of the whole thing was the “Doctor Fish.” Perhaps you’ve heard of these guys. It’s a small pool, about 18 inches deep, filled with little goldfish-type guys. What you do is put your feet in, and the fish come up and nibble on your feet and give you a pedicure. I found an image on Wikipedia to show you what I mean:

First, I’ll answer these questions:
Yes, it tickles at first.
Yes, it is kinda gross.
Yes, I know it’s banned in most of the US.
Yes, I found it highly entertaining.

Amy and I put our feet in at the same time, and we were the only ones using the little pool at that moment. You know how ladies have these cute little dainty feet, all moisturized and trimmed and cleaned? And guys have gross monster feet? Well, about a dozen fish went over to Amy’s feet, and weren’t terribly interested. Meanwhile, I was swarmed. Apparently there was a lot of disgusting fleshy goodness for these fish to feast upon. I have one gamey toe in particular that they loved. These fish worshipped at my feet, literally. But time had other plans, and soon we had to leave. I rinsed off, and then went to the outdoor swimming pool, where I gave my feet a good chlorine soak for about 30 seconds. I may have enjoyed those cute little fish, but I didn’t trust them… For all I know, they could be the main ingredients in Fish Peanuts.

Our trip home was much faster, only about two hours with good connection times, and to top it off, we got a fantastic sunset over Tainan.

Tomorrow we say goodbye to Tainan, and to Taiwan altogether, as we leave for Hong Kong. We’ve really enjoyed our stay here. These two weeks in Taiwan have encapsulated everything we love about travel – we came on a whim to explore a place we’d never been, and along the way learned a great deal, met a lot of very nice people, and had some unique experiences we couldn’t have had elsewhere. That’s why we do this. Xie xie, Taiwan. We’ll meet again someday.