It’s Different for Girls

Hey Friends – a quick note before we get into the actual blog post… Today is August 19th, and in exactly THREE MONTHS we arrive back home on the shores of the USA, arriving in New York before heading home for the holidays – so the countdown begins. And now on to the blog post…

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My wife has done a lot of things for me on this trip. While she enjoyed Brazil and the World Cup, it wouldn’t have been on the top of her list without me bugging her about it. And a day-trip to Villefranche-sur-Mer on the French Riviera, which involved a great lunch and an afternoon on the beach, was really just a disguised search for the chateau where the Rolling Stones recorded “Exile on Main Street.” I got away with that one because, well, it’s the French Riviera, so who’s asking questions about a slow drive along the coast? But dragging her to the dreary north of England for a Manchester United match in October will not be as sunny, and I’m sure the beaches will not disguise my true intentions.

So when Amy said she wanted to return to Florence, I agreed without hesitation. Amy loves Florence. She’d been there twice before, and was excited to show me “her” Florence. Moreover, we’d be joined by one of our mutual friends, Val, who also loves Florence. I’d been there before as well, and remembered climbing to the top of the Duomo, and thinking that was pretty cool. So I was happy to return. But let’s face it: Florence is a city best enjoyed by women.

And I get it. It’s got everything women love – cute little shops, flowery paper, winding European streets, sidewalk cafes, designer stores, stone-washed sunsets, and friendly Italian men bringing them hot chocolate in a little cup. It’s like chick-flick Disneyland. In fact, here’s an actual quote from our time in Florence:

“This reminds me of ‘Under the Tuscan Sun.’”
“I was JUST thinking that!”

So you’ll see groups of young women, groups of younger women, moms and dads and kids, or couples with weary husbands toting designer shopping bags, or sitting exhausted in the “man chair” at the Gucci store. You don’t believe me? Just look at these poor slobs:

What you won’t see is groups of guys. I can honestly say I’ve never had a friend call me up and say, “get excited, dude, because for my bachelor party we’re all flying to FLORENCE!!” When I visited Florence during a study-abroad in college, some other guys and I would go out and basically grab a beer, eat a slice of pizza, play video games, and then have a gelato on the way home. There were no trips to the Prada store, and we didn’t spend a lot of time looking at maps and reading email notes to make sure we found the best tripe sandwich in town. Traveling with two women is different. In fact, here’s an actual quote from our time in Florence:

“It’s a soap and perfume store from the 16th century!”

That’s not to say I didn’t have a good time. I did! Those sidewalk cafes? They serve great cocktails and beers, notably the Negroni and the Aperol Spritz. Plus Amy and I went to the top of the Duomo again. It was as awesome as I remembered it.

And all the hunting that Amy and Val did to find the best places to eat? We ate some fantastic meals. We also went to the Uffizi Gallery and the Accademia, which were great.

But there are other museums in Florence as well. Did you know there’s a Gucci Museum in Florence? Okay, then did you know there’s also a Ferragamo Museum? Amy calls them “the other great masters.” I had no idea. But I sure know about them now…

And speaking of museums, here’s an actual quote from our time in Florence:

“I know it’s trite, but the David is my favorite artwork of all.”

So…let’s talk about this David thing for a minute. If the Mona Lisa was topless, and I spent a half-hour gawking at it, and taking photos of her boobs, my wife would start asking a lot of serious questions. But the David is a masterpiece, and his muscular body, his chiseled abs (literally!), and his full-frontal wangitude are worthy of hours of contemplation, lurid close-up photography, and in-depth discussion.

Listen, I’m not trying to be sexist here, and the whole “men-and-women-are-different” schtick is as old as Genesis (pre-Phil Collins). It’s just that Florence is a city most appreciated, and most loved, by women. And what do you expect, honestly, from a city that was named after Mrs. Brady, the lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls, all of them with hair of gold, like their mother (the youngest one in curls)? In fact, here’s an actual quote from our time in Florence (by the way, I’m not making this stuff up, I wrote them down):

“Look at the juxtaposition of light on this pretty little piazza.”

Actual piazza being discussed, seconds after said comment.

And for the guys, there are still things to do – great food, history, architecture, and, if you’re into it, you can get some very nice upscale shoes. In fact, here’s an actual quote from our time in Florence:

“Where’s the stuff for the dudes?”

I said that one, to Amy, when we were in the Ferragamo store. I think that pretty much sums it up.

POSTSCRIPT: I would also like to tell you about another quote from Florence, but unrelated to anything “Florentine.” Amy and Val somehow got to discussing the Donner Party, and cannibalism, and survival. Don’t ask me how. But the following is an actual quote from our time in Florence:

“Drinking pee is gross, but it’s not morally unacceptable.”